Try

There's something about you
The way you move, the way you look at me
There's something about the way you see things
It's like a change of scenery

There's nothing, nothing I can do
To keep my heart away from you
I can't help it, I can't tell you how much I try

To get you off my mind
To help me move on and just live my life
I can't help it, I can't tell you how much I try

Exams?

hari ini udah mulai tes igcse. gilak men cepet bgt udh mau setaun aja sejak gue masuk 8. dari dulu yang bilangnya 'kan masih lama igcse,belajarlah nyicil..' sampe sekarang yang udah H-4,5 jam. gaada panik2nya ya gue.... hmmm harusnya gue mantepin mat gue tapi gue malah ngepost-_- yaudahlah gitu doang bay. doakan aku ya!

lumayan lama ya nggak ngepost, hmm, alhamdulillah sekarang lebih free, lebih gak mikirin tentang apa2 tapi fokus sama sekolah,walaupun msh sering pengen ketemu. 

terus kemaren baru aja tes afs. yang student exchange ituloh. pengumumannya 13 mei, doain ya supaya bisa ke amerika gratis kan lumayan banget.

apalagi yah, gue bosen. bosen sama nilai jelek T.T pengen deh banggain orangtua,oke gue harus belajar. 

ohiya gue sekarang udah bisa belajar buat lebih berani, gak takut lagi buat ambil langkah, gue udah gak takut sakit lagi! semoga aja bisa ngasih manfaat.

ohiya goodluck buat situ yang lagi sibuk2nya, jangan maleslah. manfaatin kesempatannya sebaik-baiknya. inget aja ada orang yang pengen dapet kesempatan itu tapi nggak bisa, jangan bikin mereka kecewa, jangan bikin orang yang udah berekspektasi tinggi kecewa juga. inget-ingetlah semangat pas awal dulu.

Lagi mikir. Pengen jadi orang yang produktif. Pengen bisa menghasilkan sesuatu yang bisa dinikmati banyak orang. Banyak orang yang gue kenal yang sekarang berkarya dengan berbagai cara. Pengen kayak mereka juga. Cuma masih gak berani dan ngerasa gak cukup jago. Padahal kan apa salahnya ya nyoba? Lagipula kalo nyoba kan gaada ruginya,kalo orang gaksuka yaudah terus kenapa,kalo orang suka ya alhamdulillah. Tapi suka bingung sebenernya gue bisa apa..kayaknya kalo liat orang lain tuh bisa pada ahli banget sama apa yang mereka lakuin. Nah gue?semuanya cuma bisa dikit2 doang,pengen belajar sampe jago tapi males.

Emang masalahnya tuh selalu males ya. Padahal harusnya gue bisa. Gue pengen beneran nih. Pengen cepet libur biar bisa belajar dan nyoba2. Terus baru aja ngeliat orang lain dan merasa 'wow kenapa mereka keren banget gitu?ah jadi males nih pengen kayak gitu juga'. Gue gampang banget nyerah...........

Terus sekarang juga gue ngerasa harus bisa ngatur waktu. Gakbisa kayak dulu-dulu lagi. Udah bukan masanya buat ngikutin apa yang gue pengen. Udah SMA nih. Harus dewasa. Usah 16 taun,harus lebih dewasa. Dan sekarang gue berpikir untuk nabung,buat beli barang2 yang mungkin bisa membantu gue jadi produktif.

Sekarang mau ngapain ya?ohiya masih UTS. Dan gak ada kabar sama sekali hari ini. Yaudahlah. Udah malem. Tidur. Malam, saudara-saudara.

But when I look behind, I'm so glad that you were mine.

What are you doing new years eve?

the 1.5th family.

I have never felt anything like this before. It's like losing a family you never had. I love love love them all. I hate to say that from now on we are walking in different paths. Unlike what we've done for the past 3 months.

It has been a very very very emotional 3 months. I thought being so serious and panicking in every meeting might not give us anything related to 'friendship' or maybe I could call this a family?a friend you'll always have in any circumstances. A friend who always has a big big space inside your heart.

They are the guys I spent my times with. Without them, honestly, I would not know where to go. They are the 40 people I always ran into. They are the place I learned how to live with, how to enjoy life. And these are a group of people who gives me the experience of loving and caring about other people and how it could affect them.

This post might sound really cliche, but you'll never know till you felt it yourself

I have never regretted anything I've done when it comes to my decision in joining this lovely event. Even  though a part of me thought that this was so tiring, that sometimes I just wanna stop and quit. But the other part of me never wanted to leave this precious little family of mine.

I can still recall the looks and the voices of these awesome people when they are showing everything they got inside them, to prove that they're different, that they can make a change. Well for me, you guys have brought the 'change' in me. I'll never thank you guys enough. I love you guys so much, I hope you guys will always feel home when we are together, because I do.

Good luck for anything you are doing, you're going to do great! I love you guys.

I'd love to go back here again.

I miss the atmosphere of United Kingdom. I miss the summer atmosphere especially. How I got home just after the sun sets, by 9pm. And how I never get the chance to wake up before it rises. I miss the ravens flying around Blackbird Leys. And how afraid I was walking down the street at night. I miss bus number 5 that'll be taking me from Blackbird Leys -  City Centre - Blackbird Leys. I miss England :'

RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT.... haaaaaaaaaaah *breathing*

Bisa dibilang minggu ini adalah minggu paling emosional bagi sahabat-sahabat gue. The things they do were very very very brave. Bahkan gue ga berani buat ngelakuin hal yang sama. Mereka confess sama orang-orang yang selama ini punya hal yang gabisa mereka ucapin. Contohnya pada crush mereka atau musuh mereka. 

Simple, mereka cuma bilang apa yang selama ini mereka rasain. Tapi butuh nyali yang besar. Dan gue gapunya itu. Pengecut banget kan? Emang.

Mereka bilang mereka lega banget udah nyelesein semuanya. Gaada beban. Gue berharap banget bisa kyk gitu. Pengen banget gaada beban. Tp bahkan gue gatau harus jujur ke mana lagi.


Minggu ini gue belajar bahwa lo gak selalu harus tau semuanya dan hal itu remain unspoken. Karena mungkin hal itu bisa bikin lo kecewa yang berat banget, atau at least nyesel pernah pengen tau.


Selain itu, everything happens for a reason. BUT KENAPA OH KENAPA PIA TOSCANO KELUAAAAAAAAAAARRRR T___________T mati. dadah.

15

Happy New Year. For me.


I had a very nice birthday surprise party from PREV32IOR :) Thank you very much, guys <3 But still, I didn't really have a "good" start this year. Had a fight. Got tired with all the exams and everything.


But, I'm just so sure that the year ahead is about to be fantastic. And I got to go full speed ahead and to never look back to the bad things that's making me sad only by remembering it.


Like I've said before, everything's changing. And the changes go continuously. Maybe the person you know is just not the person you thought they were anymore. Maybe the life you're living is not the right choice anymore. Maybe some things got to change. Even the hardest rock can't stand still against time while the clock's still ticking. Some part of them will turn in to dust, blown by the wind, and disappear. And no one will even care. 


Everyone felt left behind sometimes. Like you're the last one to know about something. It hurts, I know, and at first you might be strong enough to just hold back your feelings, but you are getting more tired from time to time. And maybe, you just can't hide it anymore. You're mad, you don't know what to do, but you know you have to do something to change things even more. To change this into something that will give you happiness, that will give you no regret. 


But life is a competition. You got to be strong to win. Be tough :)